


alive with something fated

by Lake (beyond_belief)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, Milwaukee Admirals, Newfoundland, POV Multiple, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-18 19:55:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14220615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyond_belief/pseuds/Lake
Summary: "I think I bonded," Adam blurts out. Better get it over with. "Uh, with you."





	alive with something fated

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This is set in a universe where soulbonds are a known thing.

"It's nice here," Alex says. He's looking out at the harbour where boats rock gently in the cool breeze. It's a decent sailing wind today, although most of the early morning fishermen have already gone out and there are only a few tourists wandering down the ramp towards the boat rental, bundled up in anticipation of a day on the water.

"We could go out," Adam replies, and winces internally at how that might have come across, but Alex's expression doesn't change. "On my boat, if you want. Later. Or now, I guess."

Alex laughs likes he genuinely thinks Adam's funny, despite Adam half tripping over his words like that. He's never gotten tongue-tied around Carsy before now. But they've never been alone like this, and Adam doesn't even know if the bond goes both ways. _Did you get the test done, too?_ he wants to ask. Instead he says, "Or I could make us some breakfast."

Alex smiles at him again, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets. "Yes, breakfast."

"Okay. Race you back?"

Alex takes off. It's not far from the harbour to Adam's oversized house that seemed like a good idea when he built it ( _young, rich, sure he'd play forever_ ) but now feels like too much space when it's just him. His brothers' families take up some of it when they visit, but that's not often, and Adam ends up spending more time than he probably needs to helping out his folks. They take it in stride and seem appreciative, but sometimes he knows he's in their way, and mostly because he's lonely.

Alex has been here sixteen hours, including the drive from Gander. His plane circled for ten minutes before descending and Adam, pulling into a parking spot outside the airport, could _feel that he was there_. It was the strangest thing he'd ever felt, weirder than the cryo tank, even weirder than bones being set after nearly everything was numb. 

Actually, it felt sort of like a bone being set, or maybe getting speared. There was a painful yank in the pit of his stomach, and Adam had to sit in the seat of the truck for a few more minutes, concentrating on the lyrics of whatever song he was listening to, until the feeling started to ease. He could shake it off a little after that, and got out to wait for Cars by arrivals.

 _getting off the plane now_ , the text informed him a couple minutes later.

Adam sent back his location, and scanned the slowly swelling crowd until he saw Carsy, a shadowed face under his flat-brimmed baseball cap. They smiled at each other, crooked and awkward, and Alex ducked around a few slower-moving travelers to come to a stop in front of Adam, close enough to touch. 

"Hi," he said, and Adam echoed it and hugged him. Cars tucked up against his shoulder and put his arms around Adam's waist, squeezed hard. For a second, Adam forgot they were standing in an airport. 

"How long is the drive?" Alex asked, taking a step back. He looked rumpled from traveling, stubble on his cheeks and jaw, less of a mustache than the last time Adam saw him.

"Couple hours. You can sleep if you want, I know it's late." He slid a hand across Alex's shoulders without thinking, but Alex didn't blink, just swayed towards him slightly and yawned as if agreeing with the hour. "You got bags?"

Alex pointed at the baggage claim which, as if on cue, started to beep. "I had to check it, too big." 

"Let me grab it for you," Adam said. "Still the green one?"

Alex nodded and smothered another yawn, clearly not bothered by Adam offering to haul his luggage off the conveyor belt. "Is there a place for food? I'm so hungry," he whined, as they crossed the road to the parking lot.

"Some fast food places. You on a meal plan yet?"

"I'm on vacation," Alex replied with a grin, and Adam laughed. 

Now, back at the house, Adam makes them some scrambled eggs and toast, adds milk to Carsy's coffee before he can ask for it. "What else do you do?" Alex asks, putting his hands around the cup and swiping his thumb along the edge. 

Adam stills, not sure what he's asking. What else does he do besides cook? What else does he do all summer besides boat, and train? What else does he do besides know how Cars takes his coffee? He knocks a spoon around in his own cup; he's probably taken entirely too long to answer now. "Uh, sorry?"

"Here. In the summer."

"Uh, train mostly. Some summer hockey camp stuff, you know, with the kids, and then I usually do a street hockey thing during the Festival." There's a flutter of something through the bond and something in Adam twists painfully, feeling horrible for even being able to feel a little bit of Carsy's emotions. His face heats up. To cover, he glances at the calendar stuck up to one of the fridge doors. "It's the week after next so if you're still here, you can come hang, bang a ball around some with the neighborhood kids. It's a good time."

"That would be fun," Cars says, and jams a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

They bike over to the bed and breakfast once they're done, and Adam finds his mom on the back deck doing something with some flowers. "Hi, honey," she says, stretching up to kiss his cheek, then adds, "Hi, Alex," before Adam can ask if she remembers Cars.

She reaches around Adam to hug Alex, and Adam hears him say, "Hi Mrs. Pardy. Your house is nice."

"Oh, thanks, we rent it out." She waves a hand, then pulls her gardening gloves back on. "There's tea in the kitchen if you boys want some, sorry I'm up to my elbows in dirt."

"We just rode over to say hi," Adam hurries to assure her. "I think we're going to go bike around town for a while, show Cars all the sights."

"Take him out to the Plantation." She nudges Adam with her elbow, then reaches for whatever the red flowers are. "That'll kill half an hour."

"Ha, you joke. Fifteen minutes." 

Alex looks confused. "It's really just down the road," Adam explains as they get back on their bikes. "Probably the furthest would be the lighthouse, that's about twenty minutes if we ride."

"Okay, lighthouse after this place," Cars says firmly. He adjusts his hat and ridiculous mirrored sunglasses, then smiles at Adam. "Are you showing me the way?"

Adam takes off without bothering to reply, trusting Cars will follow. They're not going all that fast even though traffic is sparse, and he goes left at the intersection without stopping. At the next right, Alex catches up alongside him. He says, "It's really pretty here, Pards," as they pedal slowly alongside the boardwalk. 

"Today it's nice," Adam allows, then laughs. "It's not pretty in the winter, trust me."

"Are there icebergs?"

Adam pictures the coast in the winter: steel-gray water, white ice that shades to blue in places. He's not here all that much in the winter and even though it can be miserable, there are times he misses it so hard there's a wrenching feeling in his chest. About the icebergs, he says, "Sometimes they're so close you think you could reach out and touch them."

At the Plantation's small cafe, Adam buys them each an iced tea and introduces Cars to the owners. They walk the grounds for a while, then get back on their bikes, left leaning up against the fence. Cars shakes his head and grins. "What?" Adam asks.

"It's like an entire different universe."

Adam punches him lightly in the shoulder, finally feeling less like he's going to say the wrong thing any second now, and they set off for the lighthouse.

*

"You want to watch a movie?" Adam asks, after they've each finished another bottle of beer from the fridge and he's flipped through all the channels he gets.

Alex shakes his head. "I think I am going to go up to bed."

"Oh. Sure." He's vaguely disappointed, but they'd gotten up sort of early this morning, and it's not like he's not also tired.

Alex's mouth twitches in what might be a smile. "You should come to bed with me, Pards."

Everything inside Adam feels like it flips. " _Oh_ ," he breathes.

"Unless I read wrong?"

It takes Adam a second to get his wits about him. "No - no, you didn't. I mean, only if you want to -"

Cars climbs into his lap and shuts him up with his mouth. Adam doesn't startle, but it's a near thing, and then Carsy's pulling Adam's arms around his waist. He's solid and heavy - of course he is - and part of Adam aches at how well Alex fits against him. 

Cars kisses him once more, then nips at Adam's lip before he pulls away just enough to say, "You - that was okay? Right?"

Adam's got sixty pounds on Alex; he could probably pick him up and carry him up the stairs in a show of just how okay that was. But he doesn't. Instead he slips one hand a few inches up the back of Carsy's shirt. "Yes. That was nice. I like you like this, Cars."

Alex reddens even more and there's a strong wave of pleasure through the bond - it's the strongest thing Adam has felt so far. He really should tell Cars about this before they go any further. That would be the responsible, adult thing to do. 

He's kind of scared, though.

"Pards?" Cars presses two fingers to his jaw. "You're frowning."

"I think I bonded," Adam blurts out. Better get it over with. "Uh, with you."

Alex tilts his head slightly. "I would hope it's with me," he says, which isn't what Adam was expecting at all. "Did it help?"

He must mean _did it help with our game_. "Uh, I didn't realize it until right before playoffs," Adam replies. "Wait - you're not freaked out?"

"No." Alex shrugs. He feels calm to Adam, but..

"Seriously?"

Alex looks at him for a second, then leans in and kisses him again, small brushes of his mouth against Adam's at first, until Adam tightens the arm around his hips and pulls him even closer. "Upstairs?" Alex gasps into the kiss. Everything in Adam's head is white-hot with pleasure, and he realizes he could make Cars come in _seconds_ right here, then haul him up the stairs and _do it again_. 

"Pards," Cars mumbles, his lips against Adam's. "Upstairs? Unless - couch?"

Adam moves without even thinking about it, dumping Alex - gently - on his back with his head on the arm of the sofa, and straddling his thighs. The cushions are just wide enough. Alex gasps and turns even more red as Adam kisses down his neck. "I think you got a little too much sun," Adam says as he slides a hand under Alex's upper back. "The back of your neck is all pink, and hot." 

Alex gasps and twitches as Adam strokes his fingertips over the hot skin. "Ah - Pards -" He squirms, his eyes flickering closed, so Adam does it again, then pushes Alex's shirt up a little, feeling him breathe.

"Does this feel as crazy to you as it does to me?" he asks, feeling Cars tug at the collar of his own shirt, right before a warm mouth presses to his neck, right where his pulse pounds closest to the skin. Everything feels too hot right now: his clothes, the air, all the places he and Carsy are touching. He slides a hand down, palming Alex's thigh and squeezing.

"More like -" there's a pause while Alex gets a hand around the back of Adam's neck, then up into his hair, " - you are making me crazy."

Adam thinks briefly about dragging him upstairs, but it's _his own house_ and there's no one here but them and if he wants to get Alex naked on the couch there's no one to stop him but Alex. He struggles his shirt up over his head and feels slightly cooler, but Carsy's gaze is so hot it doesn't last long. "You're not looking at anything new," Adam says, mostly to say something.

"Couldn't look at you like this before now." Cars pulls his own shirt off, then rubs his palms over Adam's thighs through his jeans. There's another pleased ripple through the bond, enough to make Adam's mouth drop open a little. "You can feel that?"

"Uh-huh." It's mostly cut off by Alex kissing him, touching skin to skin, and the bond hums so brightly in Adam's mind that he feels almost woozy with it. 

"Can I," he starts to ask, and Cars nods before Adam can say all the words out loud. He pops the button on Alex's shorts and uses the back of his hand to lever the zipper down as he rubs a thumb over the waistband of Cars' briefs. Cars exhales softly as Adam strokes his cock through the material, and his eyes drop closed. Then Adam tugs his shorts and briefs down together in a few quick movements. Cars groans at that and there's another ripple through the bond, before Adam curls his fingers around Cars' cock and starts to jerk him off, slowly, watching the things Cars' face does, feeling the arousal rolling through him. 

"So strange, to feel what you feel," Alex murmurs. "But I like it."

"Me too." Adam adjusts his grip and Cars sucks in a breath, then grins. "Yeah?"

"Mm-hmm." Cars slides a hand around the back of his neck and pulls him down for a sloppy kiss.

*  
*

Alex thinks later that he maybe should have known. It was there, in Pards' voice when he called Alex to ask if he maybe wanted to come visit, a slight hesitation, a tiny wavering catch on certain words. It was there in the expression on his face when he pulled Alex close at the airport and how he made Alex coffee without asking.

They walked their bikes back part of the way from the lighthouse, talking about the end of the season - it was easier now that some time had passed - and what they'd been doing so far over the summer. "Working out a lot," he tells Pards. "Camp is at the end of June, I want to be as ready as I can."

There's a flicker of something over Adam's face. "Sorry," Alex says quickly, and Adam's mouth twists in a wry smile.

"For what?" Pards waves a hand. "All good things come to an end, right?"

"I am still sorry," Alex murmurs, and wheels his bike close enough that he can put a hand on Adam's bare forearm and squeeze, watching closely - and sure enough, Pards closes his eyes for a second. The place where he's touching Adam is warm, and there's a warm spot right in the middle of Alex's chest, too.

Pards clears his throat. His cheeks are pink. "Um. Race you back?"

"That's not fair since you know the way," Alex insists, but hops on his bike and takes off behind Adam. 

Pards wins, mostly because he knows where to turn and takes a corner at full speed that Alex skids past and has to swing back around to take at a much slower pace. He grins at Alex in the garage. "I won."

"You cheated."

"A natural advantage doesn't count as cheating," Pards laughs. "Home turf."

Alex shoves him, but not hard. They play one-on-one for a while with the single hoop set up in Adam's driveway. It's distracting in multiple ways; Pards is big and warm in Alex's way as they try to block each other from the hoop, and also big and warm in his mind.

He wants to ask, but he doesn't know how, and he doesn't know where either one of them will be next season, besides. Milwaukee seems most likely for him right now, but Pards - even knowing he'd get out here this summer, it was hard to say goodbye in April, hard to watch Pards say goodbye to everyone. That hurt Alex more than losing, but he didn't get why at the time.

"Cars, you look like you're thinking too hard," Adam says now, nudging him gently, shoulder to shoulder.

Alex meets his gaze and smiles. "Maybe a little."

Pards smiles back. "Come on, I got that gross blue Gatorade you like."

"It's not gross," Alex insists.

"It is, but I won't hold it against you." He wipes his face with his shirt, giving Alex a second to look at him and think about how he'd like to put his hands there on Pards' abs, then slide upward over his chest, and maybe reach around Pards' neck so Alex could pull him down and kiss him.

They don't do much of anything the rest of the day; Pards has some lawn furniture he cajoles Alex into helping him move, and then they play Tiger Woods for a while. Pards eventually tosses his controller aside and says, "I could grill for dinner, sound good?".

"Sure."

Pards extends a hand to help him up from the floor even though they both know Alex doesn't need the help, and his grip is firm and warm. 

*

Making dinner is about as lazy as the rest of their afternoon has been. Alex lies on one of the lawn chaises he moved earlier and watches as Pards puts first some chicken breasts on the grill, then a couple skewers of mushrooms and zucchini a few minutes later. "Beer?" he asks, looming over Alex from behind.

Alex squints up at Pards where he's outlined against the sun. "Please."

There's a light touch on his hair, so faint he might be imagining it, before Pards says, "Be right back."

Alex closes his eyes, feeling drowsy and comfortable stretched out in the sunlight. He wonders if they would both fit on this chaise. If he could get Pards to lay down on it with him, close, and maybe let Alex tuck his face into the crook of his neck. Imagining it makes Alex's pulse pick up and his mouth feel dry. Even the anticipation of _maybe_ feels good. Everything seems so far removed from the rest of the world here; the disgust and disappointment of the season ending, the uncertainty of next year - all of it feels far enough away right now that there's just the barest twinge in his chest and it's smoothed immediately by the press of a cold bottle to his arm. 

"Thanks," he sighs, and looks up again. Pards is looking down at him with that fond, funny sort of look, the one he's been wearing since Alex got here. 

"Hi," Alex says, smiling. "Are you sitting down?" 

"I should check the food." There's a definite brush of fingers over Alex's hair and he has to grip the beer bottle a little tighter to stop himself from simply grabbing Pards and pulling him down, getting an answer to this question right now.

At the grill, Pards makes approving-sounding noises for a while, doing something with the tongs he's holding, as Alex tries to curb his blatant staring. Pards is just wearing jeans and a long-sleeved tee, but the material clings to his shoulders and upper arms. Nothing is unfamiliar to Alex's eyes but somehow with no one else around he feels almost like he's getting to look at Pards for the first time.

"Temperature's gonna drop when the sun does," Pards says as he puts the food on a big plate. "Should we go in?"

They each have another beer with dinner, then after dinner. Alex feels like he's drooping, still tired from yesterday's running around the airport, and lists towards Pards on the couch so that their shoulders press together. Pards doesn't move away, or do anything that seems like he wants to move away. Instead he asks if Alex wants to watch a movie.

"I think I am going to go up to bed," Alex says, but stays leaning against Adam, whose disappointment is almost palpable. 

"Oh. Sure."

He puts a hand on Pards' knee and says, "You should come to bed with me, Pards," and this time Adam's surprise _is_ something Alex can feel, right in the center of his chest. Alex turns enough to look him in the eye, noting Pards' flushed face. He feels pretty warm himself right now. "Unless I read wrong?"

"No - no, you didn't," Adam falters, "I mean, only if you want to -"

Alex really needs him to stop trying to talk, and kissing seems the easiest way to go about that. He also feels like he might break into a thousand pieces if he doesn't get to be close to Pards _right now_ , so straddling his lap seems like the best solution. Pards sighs into his mouth and kisses back - it's not perfect except for how it _is_ , and Alex presses as close as he dares, getting Pards' arms around his waist. 

Then he has to collect his thoughts a little, and ask if that was okay, wanting to be sure even though he knows it must be from the way Adam slides a hand gently up the back of his shirt. He sets his teeth to Pards' lower lip and enjoys the shiver that elicits, then asks, "That was all right?"

"Yes. That was nice. I like you like this, Cars."

Alex smiles and feels himself flush. Then the air between them seems to shift somehow, and Pards frowns. Alex thumbs at the corner of his mouth, then his jaw. "Pards? You're frowning," he says, and rests his arms on Adam's shoulders.

Pards' eyebrows do a thing, and then he says all in a rush, "I think I bonded. With you."

 _Oh._ That's what Alex is feeling, and why he's feeling it so strongly. Spontaneously bonding with your on-ice partner is more rare in the Q, but it's not unheard of, and he remembers a few guys whose game was made much sharper by it. "I would hope it's with me," he answers after a few seconds, shifting slightly on Pards' lap. "Did it help?"

Adam's mouth twitches downward before he raises his eyebrows. "I didn't realize until right before playoffs. You're not - you're not freaked out?"

"No." It's an easy answer to give, now that he knows for sure why he's been feeling the way he has. 

Pards looks less than convinced, though, and his fingertips rub idly over Alex's back. "Seriously?"

He wants to kiss Pards again so he does, lightly at first, until Pards grips him a little firmer. They're pressed together closely now and the feel of it is making Alex start to sweat. His dick is definitely into this, and if what he thinks he's feeling from Pards is correct, Pards is just as into it. "Upstairs?" he manages to say, skimming his mouth over Adam's. "Pards - upstairs? Or just stay here?"

Pards makes a soft humming noise before turning them carefully. Alex just goes with it, and when he's flat on his back on the sofa, he reaches up to rub his thumb over Pards' mouth before Adam ducks to kiss his neck. It all feels so good, pleasure thrumming between them through the bond. Alex wants to grab Pards with both arms and both legs and not let go. Pards is saying something about sunburn. "The back of your neck is all pink and hot."

Alex can feel the fingertips brushing there and he shivers. Pards is a heavy weight but it's nice, he likes it, and the hand Pards is pushing up under the front of his shirt feels even better. He tucks his face into Pards' neck, opening his mouth to the salty skin there, and pulling at the collar of Pards' shirt at the same time. Adam's heart is beating as fast as it would if they were on the kill; Alex can feel the pulse against his lips. Adam asks, "Does this feel as crazy to you as it does to me?".

No doubt. He sucks in a breath as Pards slides a slow, warm hand over his thigh. "More like, you're making me crazy." 

Pards makes a pleased noise at that, tilts his head where Alex is pulling lightly at his hair. Then he yanks his shirt up over his head, baring all the skin that Alex had only glimpsed earlier today. "You're not looking at anything new," he says when he catches Alex looking, but his cheeks have reddened. 

Alex thumbs his collarbone. "I couldn't look at you like this before now," he murmurs, before sliding his hand over Pards' stomach to feel him shiver. Then he pulls his own shirt off so that they're pressed skin to skin, and drops his hands so he can stroke his palms over Adam's thighs, still jean-clad, the muscle firm beneath his hands. Part of him can't believe he's getting to touch like this and thrills at it, and the feeling must be strong enough that Pards catches it, because the look that crosses his face is nothing short of wondrous. 

"You can feel that?" Alex whispers into the silence, needing to know.

Pards barely gets out an affirmative before Alex _has_ to kiss him, a mostly uncoordinated slide of mouths, the lack of finesse mattering little when he can touch Pards' bare skin and feel the bond delight in it, feel Pards in his _soul_. It feels kind of stupid, thinking about it like that, except he knows he's not wrong. 

Adam starts to ask something and Alex gives his assent before all the words even hit air. Anything is fine, everything is fine, and Pards' hands opening his fly is more than acceptable; it should have happened forever ago, in Alex's estimation. Something bright and pleased rolls through him and he knows it's what Adam is feeling. Odd, to feel it layered on top of his own emotions, but he wants to feel more of it. 

Pards brushes over his dick, the touch muted through Alex's underwear, but promising. He huffs, shifting slightly against the soft material of the sofa cushions, and lifts his hips in what he hopes is a clear invitation. Pards makes a rough noise, then Alex registers his shorts and briefs being tugged down. Adam's fingers close warmly around his dick and he gasps. He can feel Pards' hesitance mixed with his arousal, but the hesitance is only because he's not sure he's jerking Alex off in the way he likes it. It's good, though - slow, clearly mindful of the fact that his hand is dry. 

He rolls his hips, then says, "So strange, to feel what you feel - but I like it."

"Me too," Pards murmurs. Alex shivers as fingertips run slowly over the head, before Pards' grip firms again. His strokes are confident now and Alex grins at him, feeling breathless. "Yeah?” Pards asks. 

"Mm-hmm." Alex tugs him down for a kiss, rubbing his tongue against Adam's, trying to spread his legs further but hampered by their positions on the couch. They need more space. "Pards," he whispers, grabbing Adam's shoulder. "Take me to bed. Now."

He loses his shorts and briefs along the way and while it feels awkward to hurry through Pards' house with a hard-on, he's not the only one. In the bedroom, Pards hops a little getting out of his jeans, and Alex presses up against his back, kissing the base of Pards' neck before sliding a hand around and into his boxers. "Okay?" he asks, even as he feels the spike in Pards' breathing. 

"You been with another guy like this?" Pards asks in reply, putting his hand over Alex's where he's stopped just right of Pards' cock.

"No."

"You really want it to be me?"

"Oh, shut up," Alex groans, and pushes Pards down onto the bed. 

 

*  
*

 

"When?" Adam asks, after several long minutes of both of them looking up at the ceiling and Cars curling his fingers around Adam's. 

"We were on the bus," Cars starts, squeezing his hand. "I was sitting next to you. Richie across the aisle. I told him some story about a guy in Gatineau, guy who was funny one minute and then picking a fight the next minute."

Adam remembers this. The bus had an odd draft at times, a seal on one of the windows that wasn't quite right, enough for a thin ribbon of cold air to slip in as they crossed the Mississippi coming back from Iowa. Cars tucked his shoulder at exactly the right angle against Adam's body to shield himself from it. Most everyone was quiet, trying to shrug off the overtime loss. He remembers the words quick out of Cars' mouth, remembers following the whole story perfectly, even though Cars wasn't speaking English..

"We were speaking French - I think you're not even listening, you know? Then you laughed at the funny parts like you understood the whole thing. Maybe that was when I wonder - maybe?" He looks over. His eyes are wide in the small amount of moonlight trickling through the blinds, just enough for Adam to see the serious expression on his face. "I didn't get the test. I don't need it to know."

Adam rolls onto his side and brings their mouths together for a moment. "I got the test, Cars," he whispers, his mouth brushing over Alex's. "And there's no way it's with anyone else but you, so…"

The _what do we do next_ hangs between them. 

"Maybe we don't figure that out yet," Cars says, moving closer. 

He meets Cars' gaze. "No? Just… wait?"

Alex slides a hand over Adam's arm, right where the scar is, and whispers, "I can stay for a while."

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably it for niche Admirals fic this hockey season - it's almost fandom5k time and then I will probably wind up back in Generation Kill, since that seems to be my summertime thing.
> 
> Adam Pardy finally found a job in Europe after Christmas, but he didn't even play a dozen games before being sidelined indefinitely by - wait for it - tonsillitis.


End file.
